Scent of sunshine

Happy days

Little by little

Time slips away


Forgetting the nightmares

Frightening dreams

Calming the sanity

Not as bad as it seems


Blanket of silence

In a darkening shroud

So far from feeling

Emptiness so loud


Waiting for rainbows

After the rain

Free from restrictions

Just pull off the chains


Walking on sunshine

Making no sound

Finding my own way

No longer bound.






Falling backwards

Through the air

Things I thought

Were never there


Shouting, screaming

The edges fray

I trusted you

For all those days


Beyond the lines

Of what’s right and true

Into grey matter

You’re falling too


Pushing, pulling

You should’ve stayed

Anger awakens

I’ve been betrayed


Walking on water

Rainbows and clouds

Once disillusioned

Now there is doubt.



On Happy Days


On happy days

When time was running away

I found myself in you

And thought that you were true


As the seconds slipped by

You showed me you were a lie

And behold in the light

I knew there was nothing right


Then minutes became hours

And my love for you became sour

From the bitter taste I knew

That you were fallible too


After years had been left behind

And I had wiped you from my mind

Only happy memories were there

Because I know once you did truly care






the thoughts in my head

remind me I’m not dead

the emotions in my heart

tell me there’s time to start

I see the colours drifting

the words paint new pictures

the dance in my soul

will someday make me whole






Searching for the truth

In all the wrong places

I find myself reflected

By all the sad empty faces



Desperately seeking salvation

I wonder here and there

Looking for the answers

Walking a path headed nowhere



Tracing the light footsteps

Of people who have gone before

I want to find the difference

And be something more



Travelling between shadows

Just trying to find my way

I need to get there in time

Because all I have left is today.




In My Dreams

a collaboration by Hastywords and thenightsyde


In my dreams I only see

What I want to see

But the truth is I will never be

As free as I want to be


The sky above reflects my dreams

It sees things I will never see

But the truth is even the sky will never be

As free as it wants to be


All I wish is that like in my dreams

I could be just what I see

But the truth is nothing will ever be

As simple as I want it to be


So as I open my eyes to day

I hold hands with my dreams

Simplicity in everything around me

I shall strive to make them reality




The View

Inspired by:


Seated on the edge of civilization

He watches without a care

Wearing a costume of humanity

Ready to do what no human would dare



For he is a divine being

A god of death and time

Passing judgment, reaping lives

With or without any crimes



Waiting for the precise moment

He looks on as lives while away

He shows no difference to lies or truth

Simply taking people day by day



He delays for no one person

No discrimination in his eyes

Until the time is right for him

He observes the view in disguise






For Chami


If I die and die again

And I’m reborn without a friend

I will find my way back to you

This I promise


I will search everywhere

And somehow get there

Because I know I won’t survive

Long without you in my life


I will walk and I will run

And even fly if to that it comes

And day by day, make my way

Right back to your side


Even if impossible it might seem

I will search for you in my dreams

Until I wake up and see

That you are beside me


I will look in every place

That I can and in all the ways

So that I can see your smile again

And know that I’m home.




Where he ends and she begins



She stares back at him, silent.

Why Anya?

He reaches for her as she reaches for him, and they both fall together, long limbs entangling as they fall apart. He clutches her to him tightly, holding on as if she is his lifeline and the only thing keeping him alive. He needs her, like a tree needs its roots – to keep him strong, grounded and upright. Some days he feels like if he didn’t have her he’d just float away – literally or metaphorically; he’s not even sure anymore.

She is so familiar to him – they have known each other since they were tiny; for as long as they’ve been alive, for as long as they can remember, and it is difficult sometimes to discern – where he ends and she begins. And it is not just because they both look so alike either, with the same lithe bodies, dark hair and grey eyes.

She is his better half, and for him, without her it would be like endless spring days without even a single zephyr. She is the only one who can keep him breathing, keep him existing, and keep him whole. She watches the world, seeing everything, seeing through people and all their lies. She is able to see things that many others cannot, and it unsettles them, because they cannot handle the truth of what she has seen.

She sees everything, but all he sees is her.

And that is simply why he cannot let her go. Without her, he would be like blind man; suffocating in a storm.

He grips her shoulders, grasping her with a force that will leave her to find deep purple bruises littering her body the very next day. He cannot bear to let her go, and yet he must and his mind recognizes this fact even as his body rebels.

She lifts her head calmly from where it had been buried in his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

I’m sorry.

He looks down at her, his face emotionless like the calm before a storm, the turmoil inside him not showing even a little bit. He quietly moves himself a few inches away from her, though his arms still hold on to her.

They have reached a standstill, with neither willing to let go before the other, but both striving to find the right moment to do it. So is it with little surprise when both end up doing so at the same time, as if their very heartbeats pulsed to the same time, as if they had both counted down, and let go.

He turned around instantly, finding it agonizing to look at her any longer, when he knows that he cannot hold her ever again. It was their last embrace, that which had just occurred, their last words; Why Anya? His last question and I’m sorry, her last reply.

Yet there is so much still that he wishes to say to her, so many things that he wants to blurt out, and even without looking at her, he knows that she is waiting, patiently for him to say his final piece before she leaves, for it will be the very last time.

He knows the words; exactly what he wants to say, and yet he simple cannot get it out. Because he knows that to speak the words, his last words to her, is to acknowledge that this is the very last, final time that he will see her – never again will they be together – and there is a part of him still, that refuses to accept it.

Iloveyou. The words come soaring suddenly from inside of him, and out of his mouth, though he still cannot speak louder than a whisper.

PleaseAnyaIloveyouDon’tleavemeIcan’tlivewithoutyouIneedyouAnyaDon’tyouunderstandIloveyouandwithoutyoumylifewouldbe  meaningless,utterlyandcompletelyuselessIloveyouAnyaIneedyouinmylifeYouaremyeverythingandwithoutyouIcouldnotsurviveDon’tleave Pleasedon’tgoAnyaIloveyouPleaseAnyaI’msorryIloveyousomuchIneedyouIcan’tlivewithoutyouAnyaIloveyouso.

His throat is sore, and the words he could not speak a moment before, the list of never ending clichés he never thought he would ever use, tumble out in a hoarse murmur. As it spins out of control, he falls to the ground, kneeling with his head in his hands, trembling with the sudden force of his emotions that have burst to the forefront, the edges fraying with nothing left for him to hold on to.

She knows that she should not touch him now, for that is already over.

All that is left is for her to leave, and yet she cannot stand to leave him so broken, even as her own heart splinters inside, she walks to stand in front of him, placing each hand on either side of his face as she leans down to, oh so carefully brush her lips in the most gentlest of kisses, lightly against his forehead. It is the slightest ghost of a kiss and he does not look at her as she lets go and straightens up, gliding away from him silently to the door his back is facing, as he stays kneeling, frozen in position.

Before she leaves, before the door quietly clicks into place behind her, before only the memory of her presence is left in the room, he hears the words she whispers back, just as she leaves.

I love you too.




Lost At Sea

a collaboration by Hastywords and thenightsyde


She stood on the sandy shore

Watching the tide play rock a bye

Feelings draining, drowning

Being washed out into the sea


The turmoil in her soul

Reflected by stormy waves

She knows the time has come

And by morn she must away

Away to where she belonged

With loved ones she had lost

Lost upon this very sand

Lost in these very waves


Her whole life shattered

In mere seconds to count

Waiting for the right moment

Feels like she’s already fading


Fading with each retreating surf

Cycling endlessly at her feet

Closer she steps to the edge of life

Craving the healing of the waters surge


She feels her hands clenching

As she holds on to thin air

Her breath comes in shallow gasps

She walks into the ocean and stops

She welcomed the rising tide

Felt it cleansing her regrets

Painful memories swallowed

As the ocean and her lungs met


Everything will be alright

She whispers quietly to herself

Finally at peace now inside

She can leave this world behind.