Sunshine

 

Scent of sunshine

Happy days

Little by little

Time slips away

 

Forgetting the nightmares

Frightening dreams

Calming the sanity

Not as bad as it seems

 

Blanket of silence

In a darkening shroud

So far from feeling

Emptiness so loud

 

Waiting for rainbows

After the rain

Free from restrictions

Just pull off the chains

 

Walking on sunshine

Making no sound

Finding my own way

No longer bound.

 

 

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Doubt

 

Falling backwards

Through the air

Things I thought

Were never there

 

Shouting, screaming

The edges fray

I trusted you

For all those days

 

Beyond the lines

Of what’s right and true

Into grey matter

You’re falling too

 

Pushing, pulling

You should’ve stayed

Anger awakens

I’ve been betrayed

 

Walking on water

Rainbows and clouds

Once disillusioned

Now there is doubt.

 

 

On Happy Days

 

On happy days

When time was running away

I found myself in you

And thought that you were true

 

As the seconds slipped by

You showed me you were a lie

And behold in the light

I knew there was nothing right

 

Then minutes became hours

And my love for you became sour

From the bitter taste I knew

That you were fallible too

 

After years had been left behind

And I had wiped you from my mind

Only happy memories were there

Because I know once you did truly care

 

 

Today

 

Searching for the truth

In all the wrong places

I find myself reflected

By all the sad empty faces

 

 

Desperately seeking salvation

I wonder here and there

Looking for the answers

Walking a path headed nowhere

 

 

Tracing the light footsteps

Of people who have gone before

I want to find the difference

And be something more

 

 

Travelling between shadows

Just trying to find my way

I need to get there in time

Because all I have left is today.

 

 

In My Dreams

a collaboration by Hastywords and thenightsyde

 

In my dreams I only see

What I want to see

But the truth is I will never be

As free as I want to be

 

The sky above reflects my dreams

It sees things I will never see

But the truth is even the sky will never be

As free as it wants to be

 

All I wish is that like in my dreams

I could be just what I see

But the truth is nothing will ever be

As simple as I want it to be

 

So as I open my eyes to day

I hold hands with my dreams

Simplicity in everything around me

I shall strive to make them reality

 

 

The View

Inspired by: http://sethsnap.com/2012/11/02/your-story-the-view/

 

Seated on the edge of civilization

He watches without a care

Wearing a costume of humanity

Ready to do what no human would dare

 

 

For he is a divine being

A god of death and time

Passing judgment, reaping lives

With or without any crimes

 

 

Waiting for the precise moment

He looks on as lives while away

He shows no difference to lies or truth

Simply taking people day by day

 

 

He delays for no one person

No discrimination in his eyes

Until the time is right for him

He observes the view in disguise

 

 

Promise

 

For Chami

 

If I die and die again

And I’m reborn without a friend

I will find my way back to you

This I promise

 

I will search everywhere

And somehow get there

Because I know I won’t survive

Long without you in my life

 

I will walk and I will run

And even fly if to that it comes

And day by day, make my way

Right back to your side

 

Even if impossible it might seem

I will search for you in my dreams

Until I wake up and see

That you are beside me

 

I will look in every place

That I can and in all the ways

So that I can see your smile again

And know that I’m home.

 

 

Where he ends and she begins

 

Why?

She stares back at him, silent.

Why Anya?

He reaches for her as she reaches for him, and they both fall together, long limbs entangling as they fall apart. He clutches her to him tightly, holding on as if she is his lifeline and the only thing keeping him alive. He needs her, like a tree needs its roots – to keep him strong, grounded and upright. Some days he feels like if he didn’t have her he’d just float away – literally or metaphorically; he’s not even sure anymore.

She is so familiar to him – they have known each other since they were tiny; for as long as they’ve been alive, for as long as they can remember, and it is difficult sometimes to discern – where he ends and she begins. And it is not just because they both look so alike either, with the same lithe bodies, dark hair and grey eyes.

She is his better half, and for him, without her it would be like endless spring days without even a single zephyr. She is the only one who can keep him breathing, keep him existing, and keep him whole. She watches the world, seeing everything, seeing through people and all their lies. She is able to see things that many others cannot, and it unsettles them, because they cannot handle the truth of what she has seen.

She sees everything, but all he sees is her.

And that is simply why he cannot let her go. Without her, he would be like blind man; suffocating in a storm.

He grips her shoulders, grasping her with a force that will leave her to find deep purple bruises littering her body the very next day. He cannot bear to let her go, and yet he must and his mind recognizes this fact even as his body rebels.

She lifts her head calmly from where it had been buried in his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

I’m sorry.

He looks down at her, his face emotionless like the calm before a storm, the turmoil inside him not showing even a little bit. He quietly moves himself a few inches away from her, though his arms still hold on to her.

They have reached a standstill, with neither willing to let go before the other, but both striving to find the right moment to do it. So is it with little surprise when both end up doing so at the same time, as if their very heartbeats pulsed to the same time, as if they had both counted down, and let go.

He turned around instantly, finding it agonizing to look at her any longer, when he knows that he cannot hold her ever again. It was their last embrace, that which had just occurred, their last words; Why Anya? His last question and I’m sorry, her last reply.

Yet there is so much still that he wishes to say to her, so many things that he wants to blurt out, and even without looking at her, he knows that she is waiting, patiently for him to say his final piece before she leaves, for it will be the very last time.

He knows the words; exactly what he wants to say, and yet he simple cannot get it out. Because he knows that to speak the words, his last words to her, is to acknowledge that this is the very last, final time that he will see her – never again will they be together – and there is a part of him still, that refuses to accept it.

Iloveyou. The words come soaring suddenly from inside of him, and out of his mouth, though he still cannot speak louder than a whisper.

PleaseAnyaIloveyouDon’tleavemeIcan’tlivewithoutyouIneedyouAnyaDon’tyouunderstandIloveyouandwithoutyoumylifewouldbe  meaningless,utterlyandcompletelyuselessIloveyouAnyaIneedyouinmylifeYouaremyeverythingandwithoutyouIcouldnotsurviveDon’tleave Pleasedon’tgoAnyaIloveyouPleaseAnyaI’msorryIloveyousomuchIneedyouIcan’tlivewithoutyouAnyaIloveyouso.

His throat is sore, and the words he could not speak a moment before, the list of never ending clichés he never thought he would ever use, tumble out in a hoarse murmur. As it spins out of control, he falls to the ground, kneeling with his head in his hands, trembling with the sudden force of his emotions that have burst to the forefront, the edges fraying with nothing left for him to hold on to.

She knows that she should not touch him now, for that is already over.

All that is left is for her to leave, and yet she cannot stand to leave him so broken, even as her own heart splinters inside, she walks to stand in front of him, placing each hand on either side of his face as she leans down to, oh so carefully brush her lips in the most gentlest of kisses, lightly against his forehead. It is the slightest ghost of a kiss and he does not look at her as she lets go and straightens up, gliding away from him silently to the door his back is facing, as he stays kneeling, frozen in position.

Before she leaves, before the door quietly clicks into place behind her, before only the memory of her presence is left in the room, he hears the words she whispers back, just as she leaves.

I love you too.

 

 

Lost At Sea

a collaboration by Hastywords and thenightsyde

 

She stood on the sandy shore

Watching the tide play rock a bye

Feelings draining, drowning

Being washed out into the sea

 

The turmoil in her soul

Reflected by stormy waves

She knows the time has come

And by morn she must away

Away to where she belonged

With loved ones she had lost

Lost upon this very sand

Lost in these very waves

 

Her whole life shattered

In mere seconds to count

Waiting for the right moment

Feels like she’s already fading

 

Fading with each retreating surf

Cycling endlessly at her feet

Closer she steps to the edge of life

Craving the healing of the waters surge

 

She feels her hands clenching

As she holds on to thin air

Her breath comes in shallow gasps

She walks into the ocean and stops

She welcomed the rising tide

Felt it cleansing her regrets

Painful memories swallowed

As the ocean and her lungs met

 

Everything will be alright

She whispers quietly to herself

Finally at peace now inside

She can leave this world behind.